Monthly Archives: July 2018

Wondering

Wondering

There are things I didn’t know about and then all of a sudden I did
Like Malaysian airlines
And then mudslides that take down houses in California and closed the I-40 road near Asheville this year.

Then there are things I didn’t know about and then all of a sudden I knew I still didn’t know about them.

Like
What is it like to prepare for the birth and life of a Down syndrome child?

What is it like to be white or to be privileged; it is so invisible and not distinct.

And what is it like to be black and never can know what that is like but I can be interested and listen and not know.

What is it like to wonder?
Like Tristan down the street neighbor, 25, coming to stand in the street and look at the “slow-poke house” as he has named it, being built next door.
And what is it like to be Tristan who is being endlessly fascinated and then stopping to hug me.
He has some form of special needs and he is thrilled to see me, barely knowing me, but still thrilled.

And Lana tells me she sits for hours coloring with her Down Syndrome Cassie, 9 years old, granddaughter and now to the family she is simply Cassie, without a label.
And Cassie can be satisfied and fascinated for hours coloring too.

Me now mesmerized with stitching that I did last week in Tennessee at the Shakerag workshop that Claire hosted and I can just sit and stitch, not going anywhere but just going here, the needle up and down, in and out, taking small steps, remaking William’s Walk Tee shirt that has become so frayed and holey and now taking on new life with each stitch.

Things I didn’t know.
What is the capability of my company team.
If I just listen longer and let it emerge and not know or control and direct all things I can do well
And will if necessary but is it ever necessary?

And week after next week in
Halifax, Nova Scotia
With Jerry Grannelli and his son, Andrew
At music camp with 4 grans, not knowing what will happen in that improvisation.
Both the music
And on our own at our cabin, cooking, eating, talking, kayaking on the lake, playing music, writing, telling our stories.
Should I take the watercolors and some yarn and needles?

Take some paper and pens and see what happens.
What about the devices and devices in Canada, does it cost more there, is there WIFI in the cottage?

Things I don’t know
Is how to stay married and love someone so long and how to fight and recover or disagree and forgive or not care about the little things.

How to grow old or older than I am now and what will that be and will I take cookies to the newspaper office to comfort them after the Annapolis shooting or at least offer to stitch their shirts.